I am tired. When I get home from work, I’m going to take a nap to just clear my head. I actually have a lot to do, but i’m only going to be focusing on one thing today: Jason and Clarissa’s Wedding Slide Show. I started during lunch and was getting really excited to see all my thoughts go in. I just know I have a lot to do. If I have time after, which I probably won’t but if God gives me extra time, I’m going to clean the house. It’s pretty messy and I don’t know if I could work for long in a messy place…but we will see!
So, work has been slow, and I’m not motivated to do little projects that I set myself to do during “slow” times. I guess I don’t feel upbeat today. Well anyways, I was looking at different jobs on craigslist to just see what was out there. For the most part, it’s the same ol’ admin assistant jobs posted and others that looked pretty shady about working in a strange office with no windows and must come in at midnight to start. Ha. I then started to look at maybe possible schooling I could do. So I looked at the different programs provided by Biola since they offer to give a nice discount to their employees. As I looked and thought of maybe possible classes to take such as TESOL, MA in Theology, etc., I realized that the likelihood of going back to school was very slim. I realized that I would not only be working full-time and helping out in ministry full-time, but that I’m going to be a mom FULL-TIME. The thought of it got me a bit overwhelmed and made me realized that my life is going to change.
I mean, I knew that before when I first found out I was pregnant, but to think that I have almost zero options for maybe about 5 years (if I’m not working) or even 20 years (if I am working full time) got me to really think…my life will no longer about any advancement in my life, but to the ones that will need my support the most…family.
I can’t finish this thought, so I guess I must hang it like this…I’m just thinking too much.
