I’ve been slacking off on this, but I need to stay committed in reading the sweet Word of God.
Today, it will be:
1 John 3:16-20
16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
I feel like I’m reading this for the first time. Love is not a word, but an action. I’ve been having a difficult time loving others. I think it becomes harder to love as I get older. I’m still in a fairly young age, but to think about how my love meter was before, I feel that I have a hard time showing the love of Christ now then ever before.
It’s difficult because people screw you over whether or not it is intentional. I feel that deep down inside, it is really about a lack of appreciation and respect. I guess everyone goes through it. People will constantly change, but the love of God within us cannot change. I wonder if that makes sense.
The passage today is challenging me that I love others, not with words or tongue, but with ACTIONS and in TRUTH! It is challenging me to be outside of my comfort zone and to do it with honesty. The last two verses really got me thinking because it told me to rest in God’s presence. To rest in HIM because when my own heart condemns me or shows lack of love to others, God is there to restore me. He knows everything.
I felt so distant from God. I felt so “useless” in this world. I really want to do something for God, but I know I am overly anxious and never fall through with a vision I had.
I have to be very careful in my choosing. I can jump on a boat anytime, but I feel that I flake in it too. I have a lot to learn and I need to be committed.
Right now, I need to slow down and think about what I need to be committed to in ministry.
First - I need to stay committed to my relationship and personal time with Jesus. There is no ifs, ands, or buts, about it. It is simple and straight forward. I cannot show or reflect the love of Christ, if I am not with him or in his Word.
Second - I need to be committed in my relationship with Jason. I am to give him 100% of myself. One thing I realized about my relationship with Jason is that I lack to be an initiator in his hobbies. I need to work on giving my attention and interest in his likes. If he enjoys something that is “good” and helps him to pursue righteousness, I need to encourage those thoughts. He really gives me 100%, and I feel it. I hope I can have him feel like that every time.
Third - I need to stay committed as my role in being a pastor’s wife. Sounds funny, but it’s true. I have a title now that comes with responsibilities. I’m not advertising myself to be fake, but I have to really show myself as an example. Sometimes I feel like I am not the “typical” pastor’s wife because one, I’m loud as a horse! Two, I feel like I am too blunt and could be hurtful. Three, I feel that because of my age, I don’t have the right credibility. I guess what I’m going for is that I need to be encouraging to the sheep that Jason is watching over, to be blunt in a gentle loving way, and to realize that I need to continually challenge myself and learn more from the Word.
Fourth - I need to stay committed to the ministry that is given to me. I have the college group in my hands, and I cannot toss it for something else. God has given me this ministry, and it is my job to pray for my group, study for my group, and mentor the leaders that are in this group. I have a tendency to run or chase after something that could seem more “spiritual” or “fancy.” I’m going to stick with it.
All of this needs to be done in the act of love. One act of love that I need to reflect is: Commitment.
Prayer:
Almighty God,
Thank you for the Word you have given me. Lord, help me to act in love and to reflect your love. I pray that I do not say empty words, but to have meaning and weight in them. I pray that you will help me stay committed in the four things that you have given me: my relationship with you, my relationship with Jason, my calling as a pastor’s wife, and the college ministry you have given me.
I pray that I will be a good steward of my time and to really give you all the glory and praise. Help me God as I find my place.
Lord, I also pray that you will be with me. I’ve been thinking about jobs again, and Lord you have blessed me with this job here at Biola. Help me to be content or to find something I really desire and love. God, I am nothing without you. Help me to reflect your love in this job that I currently have.
I pray that you will be with Jason. I pray that you will give him the strength that he needs to prepare the message for Harvest night. I also pray that you will be with him as he handles the different ministry issues going on. I thank you that you have challenged him to do your work. I love that you have given me an amazing husband who loves me very much. Thank you for that. I cannot thank you enough.
I also pray that you will be with the college group especially the leaders. Be with Nicole, Tori, and Rachel. I pray that you will mold them and help them spend time with you. I pray that you can really use these leaders within this group. I pray that you will challenge us as a group and to build a strong foundation in you. Be with us as we meet in the next couple of weeks.
Lord, I thank you for so many things. May my heart be filled with gratitude and help me to continually reflect it and to rest in you.
I love you.
Annie
